2 posts tagged “poop”
It all started when Aunt Christine told me about people going around, taking a survey about whether people fold or scrunch their toilet paper. The purpose: to see whether they are nerdy and they like things organized and well put together or if they were jocky and didn't care at all about how their surrounding was.
Today I realized that I both scrunch and fold my toilet paper. I noticed that sometimes when I pee and (all of the time) when I'm in a hurry, I scrunch my toilet paper. The strange thing is: whenever I poop, I always, ALWAYS fold my toilet paper, no matter what. Isn't that strange? I told that to Aunt Christine and she asked me," Why?" My awesome response:
"I like the feeling of the sun on my furry back."
I'm brilliant.
This is why so many people love me.
First of all, that subject is completely random. It has nothing to do with my post. My post is about Dee's dog, Killer. She's clean. I cleaned her. And, big and, I gave her a hair cut. Now she's so cute. Don't get me wrong, she's still not the cutest dog ever but she's super cute compared to what she looked like. Now, Dee is going to give me $30 because of it. She hasn't been washed in ages. Seriously. Ages. It's been a good 3 1/2 months. At least. It had to have been longer than that. I know. Our dogs are disgusting. They're not even mine. They're Dee's. But she's old and always working so I have to take care of them. Although I don't really. I only feed them once a day because she feeds them in the morning and when she comes home. I don't like to clean them, either. I am NOT into cleaning poop off of a dog's butt because they don't know how to clean themselves. I only clean poop off of Shadow's butt because when he has poop on his butt...it's bad. And I don't want Aunt Christine or me to die from the stench.
I'm a hero. I deserve a standing ovation. And $30.
